Thursday, November 19, 2009

Changes we Like to See here at the Guide

By now you may have read Aaron Traister’s piece in Salon, And may your first child be a feminine child. You may have even read this XX piece in response to it. But what I have to say is more personal to this blog than what you’ve read so far.

I would like to take this moment to say that Traister’s piece is an example of the kind of change we’re working toward here at the Guide. Here’s the synopsis of what I saw in that piece:

  • A man wrote about noticing the difference in people’s reactions when he announced he was having a baby boy (his first child) as compared with when he announced having a baby girl (his second child).

  • He noted that people kept acting like they pitied him or there was somehow less to look forward to with girls.

  • The pace of the piece was a slow and deliberate; an indication of how the author thought this through. He raised an eyebrow, he didn’t repress or suppress his gut feelings, and he didn’t jump to conclusions, either. There was much to question about this situation. There were benefits of the doubt to give.

  • Here's the change we're working toward at the blog: a man takes notice of these things and has an understanding of what it means to him and the women in his life.

  • It doesn't matter whether or not he identifies as a feminist himself, though this lesson would not be possible without the contributions of feminism.

  • It doesn't have to be a 'women only' issue.

  • It's everyone's issue.

  • He's not entering off-limits territory commenting on this subject.

  • Or stepping on anyone's toes.

  • He's just a dude with awareness of what's going on around him and has something to say about it. And, most importantly, he did say something about it.

If you wanted an idea of what our goal is here, it is to foster moments like these in the world.


Anonymous said...

"He noted that people kept acting like they pitied him or there was somehow less to look forward to with girls."

Doesn't the same thing happen to women when people find out they are having a boy instead of a cute little girl?

Marie said...

The article in no way insinuated that this only happens to men, the point was that we're getting a male perspective on becoming sensitive to the treatment of women and girls.